Shades of Sunshine

I sure have come a long way in the past year.  I am very grateful to my hubby who is my support.  He keeps me on the right path and gives me something to live for.  I love him with every beat of my heart.  So I had a visit with my psychiatrist.  We are weaning me off Geodon (waaaaaaaaaaa).  And increasing my seroquel.  Not sure how I feel about that as I love what Geodon has done for my appetite.  Not sure I want the Seroquel weight gain, I have done so well (lost 45#) since I started the Geodon.  We will see how I do on just the seroquel, if I start gaining massive weight I will make her take me off of it.  I am proud to say that my kitchen is still clean (over a month), there have been 1 or 2 days where I haven't done the dishes every day but for the most part my counters have been clean, stove has been cleaned off.  Now I just need to transfer some of that cleaning to my fridge.  Hubby and I attacked the pantry this pa...

So today I had an appointment with my therapist.  We went over a letter that we have been working on for a while, I have to re-write it with some adjustments so that will be fun, it was hard enough writing the reply letter.  My therapist also told me that I need to think about where we want to go with my 'maintenance' treatment in the future.  That feels really good that she thinks I am stable enough to go onto a maintenance plan for my talk therapy.  It is hard to believe that it has been a year since my attempt.  I am so incredibly grateful for the whole experience, it was definitely an eye opener as far as my Bipolar went.  I have never really been educated as much as I have been after the attempt.  It feels good to know now what I do know about bipolar.  I have learned so much as far as who I am as a person.  I must thank my husband for his undying support through all of this.  I am on several bipolar groups on facebook and so m...

We had a busy weekend.  My hubby gets a quarterly bonus with work.  We bought an a utomatic jam & jelly maker this time around.  It is really cool, you don't have to stand over the stove stirring everything constantly, it does it for you.    Everything in the picture was canned this weekend. We made 48 1/2 pints of jam (12 different kinds of jams), 9 pints of jam (we ran out of 1/2 pints), 7 pints of bread & butter Pickles, 4 pints of dill bread & butter pickles, 13 pints of crushed tomatoes, 5 pints of salsa, 3 pints chili sauce. We still have peaches we need to do something with.  in that pile is Jams: strawberry rhubarb, blueberry rhubarb, strawberry, strawberry/orange/candied ginger, mixed berry, raspberry, mixed fruit, spiced blueberry, blueberry, and blueberry peach .  Jellies: lemon ginger, pepper, & garlic. It feels really awesome to finally have a stocked pantry again.  We haven't canned anything since 2010,...

This week I am full of anxiety.  I had a job interview at a Veterinary Hospital on Tuesday.  She had me stay for a job shadowing for about an hour.  I always clam up during those and I know it's holding me back in finding a different job.  I try to ask questions and seem enthusiastic but it's hard when I'm anxious about the job.  I wish I didn't have anxiety.  I was told she will let me know by the end of the week.  We shall see if she actually calls me if I don't get the job.  My fingers are crossed and I am praying like crazy that I will get this job.  I SOOOOO need it.  I am so tired of grooming, I am to the point that I am dreading going to work.  Which is not good.  Things are so tight money wise, and this job would start in the $9 an hour range.  Right now I am not even making minimum wage (I am on 50% commission).  As for my bipolar.  I have decided I need to get off the Trazadone, it makes me too drow...