Shades of Sunshine

  Posted in The Wellness Den | May 29, 2025 Let’s get real for a moment. Living with bipolar and anxiety isn’t a neatly packaged wellness story. It’s messy. It’s layered. It’s exhausting at times. But it’s also made me fiercely self-aware—and deeply committed to healing in a way that honors my whole self. I’ve spent years learning how to support my mental health— not just with prescriptions or appointments , but with everyday habits, tools, and choices that help me stay grounded and well. This isn’t about “fixing” myself. It’s about supporting my brain, body, and spirit with compassion. ✨ First: Let’s Drop the Shame Mental illness doesn’t make you weak. Taking meds doesn’t make you “less holistic.” And needing support doesn’t mean you’re broken. For me, bipolar and anxiety show up in different ways at different times—high energy followed by burnout, racing thoughts, mood swings, and deep overwhelm. But what’s helped most is building a lifestyle that buf...

Posted in The Wellness Den | May 27, 2025 100 days. That’s how long I’ve been using CBD consistently. And let me tell you—it has truly changed the way I feel in my body, mind, and spirit. When I first started this journey, I was hopeful… but skeptical. Could something natural actually help with stress, mood, sleep, and focus? Could it support me without numbing me out? I’ve tried a lot of things in my wellness journey—some helpful, some not. But after 100 days of CBD, I’m here to say: this is one thing I wish I’d started sooner. ✨ Why I Started Using CBD My stress levels were through the roof My sleep was inconsistent at best My mood felt like a rollercoaster And my nervous system never got a break I was burnt out, anxious, and overwhelmed—even when things seemed fine on the outside. I didn’t need a quick fix. I needed nervous system support. Enter: CBD. Specifically, Green Compass USDA Organic CBD , because sourcing and purity matter so much to ...

Posted in The Wellness Den | May 11, 2025 Let’s be honest—when anxiety hits, it doesn’t care if you’re at work, in the car, or making dinner with little ones at your feet. It doesn’t wait for the “right” time. It just shows up. Sometimes it feels like racing thoughts. Sometimes like tightness in your chest. And sometimes, like you want to crawl out of your own skin. I’ve lived it. And I want to share a few grounding techniques that have truly helped me reclaim my calm—not just in theory, but in real life. These aren’t fluff. These are tools I come back to again and again, especially during my busiest or most emotionally heavy days. ✋ 1.   5-4-3-2-1 Grounding (Sensory Reset) This one’s simple and incredibly effective. When anxiety hits, you turn your focus outward using your senses: 5 things you can see 4 things you can feel 3 things you can hear 2 things you can smell 1 thing you can taste This technique pulls you out of your racing mind and in...

Let’s Talk Mental Health: Living with Bipolar, Anxiety, and OCD This post is close to my heart—and honestly, a little hard to write. Not because I’m ashamed… but because mental health is often misunderstood , especially when you live with multiple diagnoses. I live with Bipolar Disorder , Anxiety , and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) . And while those labels don’t define me, they do shape my daily experience in ways you might not see from the outside. Today, I want to open up about what that really looks like—and what’s helped me manage, heal, and grow. 💬 “You don’t look bipolar.” I’ve heard this more than once. Mental health doesn’t always “look” like anything in particular. It can wear a smile. It can show up to work. It can post on Instagram and cuddle dogs and keep it all together… until it doesn’t. 🌗 Living with Bipolar Disorder Bipolar is more than just “ups and downs.” For me, it looks like: • Manic energy that leads to sleepless nights and impulsive decisions • D...

Let’s be honest—life can feel overwhelming. Between work, parenting, pet care, and everything in between, it’s easy to feel scattered and stressed. But over the past year, I’ve discovered a few simple wellness habits that help me stay grounded, focused, and in tune with myself. These aren’t complicated or time-consuming. They’re little moments of intention that add up to a big difference. Here are the five daily habits that help me feel my best—physically, mentally, and emotionally. 1. CBD for Calm & Balance My day starts and ends with CBD. It’s helped me feel calmer, sleep better, and handle stress without spiraling. I use Green Compass CBD Nano Jellies and love how quickly they work. Whether it’s easing anxious thoughts before a busy day or helping me wind down at night, CBD has become a trusted part of my wellness routine. It helps me stay grounded and present, no matter what the day throws at me. 2. Movement, Even When It’s Hard Working out isn’t just about fitness for me—it’s ...

When I first started working out, I had one goal: lose weight. Like so many of us, I thought fitness was all about the number on the scale. But something unexpected happened along the way. I started to notice changes that had nothing to do with my body—and everything to do with my   mind . This journey has shown me that fitness is about so much more than physical transformation. It’s a mental reset. A mood booster. A form of self-respect. And it has completely changed how I show up in my life. It Quieted My Anxiety Movement has become one of my most powerful tools for managing anxiety. Even on the hardest days, getting up and moving my body helps shift my mindset. Whether it's a full workout or a quick walk with the dogs, fitness has taught me how to release tension and ground myself. It Taught Me Discipline (In a Good Way) Committing to daily movement has helped me rebuild trust with myself. Showing up—even when I don’t feel like it—has created a sense of consistency that carries ...

  Stress Relief Tips for You and Your Pets: Beauty Rituals and Calming Techniques Written by Heather In our busy lives, stress can creep in from all angles—not just for us, but also for our furry friends. Just like we need moments of relaxation and self-care, our pets benefit from calming rituals too. In this post, we’ll explore some effective stress relief tips that incorporate beauty rituals and calming techniques for both you and your pets. Let’s dive in! The Power of Self-Care Self-care is essential for maintaining mental and emotional well-being. Taking time for yourself can help reduce stress and improve your overall mood, which, in turn, positively affects your pet. Here are a few beauty rituals that can help you unwind: 1. Indulge in a Hair Care Routine Treat your curls to some TLC! Use all-natural products, like those from MONAT , that nourish your hair and enhance your natural texture. A deep conditioning treatment can be incredibly relaxing, allowing you to take a moment...

My name is Heather.   This post is going to be true and honesty and real and have to (too much information) .... So stop reading of you don't want to hear about it.   My name is Heather and I have an eating disorder.   I am a binge eater,  I am Bipolar,  have generalized anxiety disorder,  obsessive compulsive disorder and chronic daily migraines.  Hubby and I were eating Tortilla chips and salsa this afternoon and before long I had consumed most of a bag by myself.   Hubby casually asked if I had saved him anything but the crumbs.   Wow I really did that....... Yep that's me.   I have been eating donuts like crazy lately (every morning) and over eating.   I have lost about 80 pounds but the rate I am going I am gonna gain it all back.   We are trying to conceive and are staying fertility treatments and the wait for testing is gonna kill me.   I am supposed to start my perio...

So I am doing really well at the moment.  I feel great, my self worth and self esteem is going up, I feel confident and am really happy at the moment.  I have been exercising every day since Friday.  I have been walking 2-3 miles per day.  It is really liberating and I feel great.  It helps my anxiety and helps me feel better about myself.  I am even walking in my leggings and going on busy roads, normally I choose roads that are less traveled so no one will stare at me and judge me....yeah I'm messed up to say the least.  I usually am very self conscious, I HATE my legs and still feel 'fat', even though I have lost 76# and 63".  I met with my psychiatrist last Friday.  Not sure how I like how the visit went.  I told her about my increased anxiety and she doesn't want to put me on anything for the anxiety just gave me some Klonopin for when the anxiety happens.  She wants me to work with my therapist on the Cognitive Behavior Ther...

This whole positive thinking and being nice to myself is NOT going to be easy.  Made a couple of stupid mistakes at work today and boy was I ever incredibly hard on myself.  I immediately started telling myself "you are such and idiot, you are so stupid, I can't believe you did that, what a moron you are".  I came home and bawled about it.  Why can't I just realize I am a human being and human beings make mistakes?  It doesn't mean I am stupid, or an idiot or a moron, just that I am human and mistakes happen.  Still processing it in my mind, I have OCD about things and can't let it go, so going over and over in my head and having anxiety about it.  Took an anxiety pill (Clonazepam) to try and settle my nerves.  My therapist wants me to tell myself to shut up when these thoughts occur, but that did not happen today I literally beat myself up for a good portion of the day.  One was a mistake about meds for a boarding dog and the other was a s...

 YAY!  We found me a car!  It's a 1997 Ford Taurus, it is a pale blue color.  It runs great so far and is a very nice ride, definitely has more power than my malibu 4 banger had :-).  Only one issue so far, I stopped at Maverik (gas station) to get a drink this morning and it wouldn't start when I went to leave.  Hubby thought it was a loose connection on the battery, so I wiggled the connections and it started.  I took it to Auto Zone and they said the battery is bad.  Rob thinks they were just trying to sell me a new battery.  Rob cleaned the contacts on it and added water to it, and it's working fine so far (fingers crossed it will keep working).  The car does have a dent in the drivers side rear door, but it's not that big.  Also have come to the conclusion that when I am super anxious about things I throw up.  :(  I was nervous about the car starting today when it was time to go home.  I tend to obsess over...

Today I had court for the ticket I got for not having my car registered.  Holy cow it's a misdeameanor to do that...I did not know that and now have learned a valuable lesson, don't let your car get past due on the registration.  The judge was super nice, I was the only one that referred to him by "Your Honor" everyone else was like "Sir". I learned that from the clerk at the last ticket I got, that the judge is nicer if you respect him by dressing up and referring to him as Your Honor.  He reduced my fine since I brought proof that I had it taken care of from $40 to $30.  I thought that was nice of him as well as giving me until Friday (waiting till Rob gets paid on Thursday) to pay it.  This court experience was a whole lot different, last time I was an emotional mess, before, during and after.  I love how my pills make me calm and collected.  Was I nervous, you bet, but I didn't cry this time, and didn't have panic attack freak outs, so that was...

The only difference between stumbling blocks and  stepping stones is the way in which we use them. (Unknown) Today was an okay day, again with the anxiety over getting my car registered, wasn't sure I'd get out of work in time to get it inspected as well as get up to the DMV to get it licensed.  Luckily I was able to do both, so that is one less thing to be anxious about today.  :-)  I did have anxiety driving in the snow though.  It's supposed to be a doozy of a storm.  Joyous.  I hate the snow, I live in the wrong state for someone who dislikes snow.  Oh well.  Right now I am warm and cozy in my comfy clothes, slipper socks and all, and warm in my house. I really like the quote above, as that is true, we can use stumbling blocks as stepping stones and get above the stumbling blocks.  It is our choice how we want to react to situations. I really needed to hear this as I am having the stumbling block ...

Today was another high anxiety day.  So nervous about getting my car licensed, (had to wait until thursday when Rob gets paid).  I went and got new windshield wipers, and tomorrow after work am going to go get my car safety/emissions tested, then head up to the DMV to get it licensed. I really have come a long long way since August and my 'incident'.  I am taking my meds every day have missed only a couple of doses, (one was when I had surgery).  I am functioning better, my house isn't in utter chaos like it once was.  I am having more good days than bad days when before every day was a bad day.  I am getting help with both counseling and a psychiatrist.  I am daily trying to instill positive thoughts, doing anxiety tapping, and relaxation techniques to help myself get healthy.  These are all positive things.  I do know a lot of people don't realize how far they have gotten.  I am grateful for the knowledge that I have, and for every...

Love this quote. Needed badly right now. It seems like my depression is getting somewhat better.  My counselor told me I am too tense that I needed to loosen up.  So she suggested that I dance around the house to music every day to see how it worked.  She said some people have 'movement' therapy that helps them.  So I didn't dance around my house, I danced to the radio at work, surprisingly enough it put me in a better mood and relaxed me.  Woot Woot (can you tell I like saying those words?)  Anyhow I am glad to be a little happier today.  I get to go do a shot clinic with my dad at the local shelter, should be fun. Back from the shelter, only got scratched up by a hyper pug, it was actually fun to see some puppies and help out. I am on high anxiety.....mostly about driving my car with expired tags.....and the fear of getting pulled over.  As my counselor would say just because it happened once doesn't mean it will happen again....but the an...

Today was not a good day, first off I didn't want to get out of bed, then I put off doing something I told my hubby I would do, went to go see my counselor and got pulled over on the way there for having expired plates.....joy for me, now I have to take time off work to go appear in court, oh the joyful fun of it.    Then I went and saw my counselor and cried for the first time in a while.  I have just felt so depressed lately, not severe depression, but just have no energy, takes a lot to get me to do something (other than sitting on the couch playing with computer and watching TV).  I have felt like crying for a while, and just can't.....guess being emotionless is one of the lovely side effects of the meds I am on, I don't like it one bit.  My counselor thinks I am too tense, she wants me to work on dancing around the house for a few songs each day.....okey dokey, guess that will help ease the tension. We made huge progress in a room in the basement yester...

I really have felt lately that God has taught me how to fly with my disease.  Everyone always tells me that I am doing so well and they can't believe how quickly I bounced back from my suicide attempt.  Well I made the choice as I was in the hospital that I wanted  things to change, that I wanted  to get better, and that I wanted  to get the help that I needed.  I guess that was the lowest of low points in my life, and I am so grateful that God caught me and has led me to the counselor and people that I needed to see to get help.  Our insurance company was instrumental in getting me the help that I needed, and I am forever grateful for them. Today was a high anxiety day at work, I groomed 3 dogs for chronic complainers, no matter what their dogs never are like they want them.  They are extremely picky, the dogs hair cuts could be perfect and they will find something to complain about, however they rarely complain to me they complain to my boss...

Yesterday I was 'off', not sure why but was super anxious and my hubby said it was like I was stoned in evening I just wasn't myself.  I don't know what my deal was I was just not myself, I felt like crying but couldn't.  I have noticed that I am not as emotional as I was when I wasn't on pills, which is a good thing I guess....just seems like I have a hard time crying even when it's 'worth' crying over. Things in the house are moving along, we have the front room pretty much set up, we need to do some cleaning of the fireplace but we are making progress.  It feels good to have a 'home' that we can call our own, and weird in a way.  We painted the front/sitting/living room a brownish/beige it looks awesome.  Slowly but surely we are getting things in order.  It feels like we will never get our boxes all unpacked, but we will....one day I am sure of it. I got a nice surprise today my paycheck was a lot more than I had anticipated which i...

Today was a hard day for me, about 10am my hubby called me and was in a panic, DeeJay apparently fell out of his arms didn't land on her feet and injured herself, she was screaming and so he wanted my dad (who is a Veterinarian) to come down and take a look at her. Well DeeJay isn't the best of patients so she had to go home with grandpa so he could sedate her to see if it was broken.  He didn't find any fractures but a bad sprain.  She wasn't walking on it for quite a while, so that had me worried.  But I was stuck at work all this time while my sweet baby was injured and my poor hubby was frantic about it, he feels so bad, like it is his fault, when it really isn't DeeJay just happened to be squirming and she fell, accidents happen.  I am pleased to say that she is now walking on her leg, and is able to get on and off our bed in our bedroom.  I also had him check her urine as she's been drinking a lot lately, she has a bladder infection, joyous.....remember ...

With the shooting in CT my mind has been on my beliefs a lot lately.  For those who don't know, I am LDS aka Mormon ( www.mormon.org ).  We have a belief in the afterlife, that there is life after death, that our savior Jesus Christ was born, and died and resurrected so that we can have life eternal.  We believe that if for some reason you lose a child in this life, that you will be given the opportunity to raise that child in the hereafter.  That is what is comforting me amidst this devastating event.  Knowing that those who lost precious children will be given the chance to raise them up in the hereafter.  I can't even imagine what the parents have/are feeling during this event.  I'm not a parent (other than to furkids) but I can't even imagine what they are experiencing, the tragedy.  I have read several accounts of forgiveness and sympathy for the shooter and his family, how incredibly brave.  Recently I have been becoming more active in ...