As everything falls into place for us to finally get pregnant (hopefully, fingers crossed), I have so many mixed emotions. A baby is going to change the dynamics of my hubby and I's relationship. Things will be different. We have a good thing going (finally now that I am on medications for my Bipolar/Anxiety) and I don't want to ruin that. But I finally feel like it is 'our' time to get pregnant and the time is right to have children. I know Rob (my husband) is going to make one incredible dad, I have seen him with babies before and I have seen how he is with our various fur children. He's going to be great. Although still trying to get him to budge on the fact that he thinks because he helped with nieces and nephews he won't get stuck with diaper duty.....yeah don't think that is going to fly buddy. I know that being a mom is going to be difficult, especially with my Bipolar/Anxiety/Depression, but I feel like I've finally found the combination of herbs/supplements/medications to keep me stable. Yes I am going to have to go off of some of the supplements as there is not enough data and I don't want to risk any complications with birth defects or with the pregnancy.
I had my HSG test yesterday and it was somewhat painful. I ended up having cramps pretty much the whole day yesterday about equivilant to period cramps which for me is pretty harsh, but not as bad as they used to be. They found a polyp at the entrance to my uterus. So I think this month is out as far as insemination goes. I will probably have to have the polyp removed. I will find out on Saturday when I go in for my followup ultrasound and review of all the testing with my Reproductive Endocrinologist.
As for the Bipolar/Depression, I start taking 3 of the Lamictal 25mg now this week. We have done a slow tapering up so I don't get the death rash that can happen on Lamictal. I feel more productive although still hard to get some 'get up and go' and really have had to push myself to get things moving today on my day off. I have been on the internet 'obsessing' over various different things....increasing fertility, supplements safe during pregnancy etc etc etc. But I feel I have gotten a lot accomplished, I made a huge dent in the dishes and found a counter underneath all the piles of dishes, folded and put away the whites, picked up a garbage full of crap from the hall way and in the living room, swept up a mess in the living room, done a load of laundry, changed out all the litter boxes and went and picked up produce from my parents and their garden. I feel that is a pretty significant list of things accomplished for someone who is battling depression. Oh and I filled 10 days worth of pills. My hubby was a sweetheart and picked me up a larger storage thing for pills. As I have so many that they wouldn't fit in the largest pill sorter you can find. So he got me some jewelry bead organizers. Now I will only have to fill my pills every 10 days instead of once a week. Yes I am a nut and am on lots of different pills and supplements but each one has a purpose.
I had my HSG test yesterday and it was somewhat painful. I ended up having cramps pretty much the whole day yesterday about equivilant to period cramps which for me is pretty harsh, but not as bad as they used to be. They found a polyp at the entrance to my uterus. So I think this month is out as far as insemination goes. I will probably have to have the polyp removed. I will find out on Saturday when I go in for my followup ultrasound and review of all the testing with my Reproductive Endocrinologist.
As for the Bipolar/Depression, I start taking 3 of the Lamictal 25mg now this week. We have done a slow tapering up so I don't get the death rash that can happen on Lamictal. I feel more productive although still hard to get some 'get up and go' and really have had to push myself to get things moving today on my day off. I have been on the internet 'obsessing' over various different things....increasing fertility, supplements safe during pregnancy etc etc etc. But I feel I have gotten a lot accomplished, I made a huge dent in the dishes and found a counter underneath all the piles of dishes, folded and put away the whites, picked up a garbage full of crap from the hall way and in the living room, swept up a mess in the living room, done a load of laundry, changed out all the litter boxes and went and picked up produce from my parents and their garden. I feel that is a pretty significant list of things accomplished for someone who is battling depression. Oh and I filled 10 days worth of pills. My hubby was a sweetheart and picked me up a larger storage thing for pills. As I have so many that they wouldn't fit in the largest pill sorter you can find. So he got me some jewelry bead organizers. Now I will only have to fill my pills every 10 days instead of once a week. Yes I am a nut and am on lots of different pills and supplements but each one has a purpose.
Superb post about "So many emotions...."
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