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Past Mistakes

I was at walmart this morning when the gravity of what I did nearly 7 months ago hit me like a train wreck.  I started crying and just felt depressed about it.  Why was I so stupid?  What was I thinking?  It really hit me hard.  I can't believe I did that.  But at the same time, wow, what an eye opener it has proven to be.  It helped me seek the help that I was avoiding.  It was a mistake that will shape my life forever.  I am grateful that I was able to use it as a learning experience and that I was able to get the help that I so desperately needed.  I hated feeling the way I did about myself and just in general.  I was miserable and very unhappy. I snapped at my husband more often than not and put him through a living hell.  I am so sorry for that, it was not my intention to hurt him in any way, shape or form.  IT is hard to not let my past define me, but I am trying on a daily basis to learn from it and to press forward.

For the 2nd day in a row I did my 2 mile walk!  Feels great!  Hopefully my exercising will help my weight start going back down again.  I have been trying to watch what I eat.  It is hard because I get intense carb cravings with some of the meds I am on.  It's like I MUST have carbs and right now, type of cravings.  Generally I can squash the cravings but not always.


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