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Anxiety Happens

Sorry I haven't written for a bit have been dealing with tons of anxiety.  Saturday I injured a dog I was grooming, it jerked as I was shaving it's face so I nicked it''s eyelid and bruised it's eye, then another dogs face started bleeding while I was grooming it, I had my vet (dad) come look at them and the one dog (who's face started bleeding) had a corneal ulcer so bad it popped the eye, but it wasn't anything I did.  But it still caused significant anxiety for me.  I hate anxiety with a passion.

Okay that was written this morning, I cut another dog today, in my defense she was extremely naughty and wiggly. I am seriously thinking of giving up grooming, it causes me so much anxiety and stress I don't know if I can keep doing it.  I don't know what to do as I don't want to hurt/inconvenience my boss, but at the same time, I feel like I am not good enough to keep doing it.  I have so much anxiety that I drink a ton of water, and am actually making myself sick drinking so much.....one of my quirks is when I am anxious I drink a lot of fluids.  At least it's not diet coke.   After talking to my sister who has been a groomer longer than I have, I have decided to change my techniques, it is always naughty dogs that I am cutting, so I am going to start giving them breaks and if they are still naughty after the breaks they are going to get sent home unfinished, it's not worth the hassle.

Previous was written yesterday.  I slipped down the stairs and hurt my back, nothing is broken (went to instacare) but it's the equivilant of sprained and I am on pain killers, my hubby stayed home today to take care of me and he has been treating me like a princess.  I have a confession, I have been out of my pills since Sunday.  My stupid mail order had to verify my address (why I don't know as they verified it last time too) they have had my prescription since last Thursday, they didn't call until Monday, then they didn't ship out my pills until yesterday.  My emotions are a mess, I am near tears for no reason, and am just feeling down.  I got my pills today but I don't take them until the night.  Rob (hubby) thinks that they need tweaked anyways as he says over the past few weeks all my emotions are amplified, if anything bad happens it's like the end of the world so to speak.  I have an appointment on the 29th with new psychiatrist so I am excited about the possibility of seeing a psychiatrist who will actually listen to me and help me.

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