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Adjusting the sails

This quote hit me hard today.  Things have been rocky lately, and 'windy' if you will, but it's up to me to change the direction of my life, it's up to me to choose to be happy and to pull out of this depression I have been in.  I can adjust the sails and make different choices to have a different destination.

Met with my therapist today.  We talked about my depression.  He told me what an inspiration I was as far as how far I have come since I started seeing him in January (I think that's when I started) as well as my weight loss.  He said I should find a sponsor or an app to give me money for losing so much weight :)  We talked about how my sense of being overwhelmed is from taking on too much responsibility, that I need help.  I tend to just do things instead of waiting for help or asking for help.  I have lists and lists of things that need to be done and I tend to do them myself instead of getting help, this goes mainly for things around the house.  Although I will admit Rob has done good recently about cleaning up his side of the office, while mine is a cluttered mess.  Granted he still has his 'box' and throw it corner that is piled up but around his desk is fairly clean and organized.  As I said I am going to start doing the FlyLady thing again as it's basic and has daily things that need to be done each day and will help me get the house under control again.

Saw the neurologist today.  I NEVER have to wait for him, I am usually in and out in like 5 minutes if that.  I waited for 20 minutes and fully expected him to go off on me like he did the last time I saw him (he yelled at me and told me that at my age and with all the medications I was on I shouldn't be considering having kids).  He was nice to me and we discussed my history and how I have failed 3 migraine prevention medications now and he told me there was one other option.  He sent me to a specialist for Botox injections.  I see them the end of October for initial consult and to get approval through insurance etc for the injections.  https://www.botoxchronicmigraine.com/  It really is a thing and I have heard from several people it helps reduce the number of migraines they are having.  So looking forward to that since I have migraines pretty much 5 out of 7 days each week.

We went to the animal shelter today, my dad who is a Veterinarian and I go twice a month to do a vaccination clinic.  It's loads of fun, lots of dogs who are naughty, biters, pee-ers, poopers etc.  But I do enjoy working with my dad again.  I worked for him in the Veterinary clinic for 20 years and he semi-retired several years ago.  I work for a different vet now that I love and enjoy working with the other team members.

I have my first fertility test on Thursday.  I am getting excited it's getting closer and seeming more real to me now.  I am just so happy it's finally the right time for us to start a family and finally getting the help we need to do so.

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