Shades of Sunshine

Such an awesome quote.  We need to measure our own progress and our own abilities rather than compare ourselves to someone else.  Everyone has their own unique challenges and issues that they have been dealt in this life, it's up to us to measure our own progress and see how far we have come.  I know for me I have gone from being a cranky, bitchy, onery person to one who has love in her heart daily, and one who has been able to be happy, I no longer snap at my husband for stupid things and no longer get offended if he asks me to get him something or do something for him.  The past 2 years prior to August were very hard on our relationship and we are continually trying to improve things now.  No one ever wants to hear the "D" (Divorce") word when you are married to the one you love, but that's where my relationship was headed.  It scares me to no end to think that because I let my disease become the better of me and didn't get/seek help that I almost lost ...

Today was a good day, even though I had a land shark (biter) to groom.  He is old and contankerous and very difficult to groom, he doesn't like his face touched, yet it was matted so we had fun dematting his face today, but we got it done for the most part.  His owners give him 'happy' drugs before he comes to see me, but today he didn't act like he had any. <-------------Definitely, you can't change the past only the future.  I have regrets in my past that's for sure, but without those regrets I wouldn't be where I am today.  My mistakes have made me stronger and made me who I am today.  Do I wish I could change my past and make it better?  Yes, certainly, who doesn't want to change something in their past? Our Bishopric (Clergy) came to visit us tonight to get to know us better since we are new to the congregation.  For once I didn't have to spend all day panic cleaning, just had to straighten up a few hot spots and it felt great.  They...

I normally don't post more than once a day, but I feel compelled to post a 2nd time today, probably because I haven't been posting regularly again.  I am sick with a cold and am feeling pretty miserable, however it's my own fault as my hubby kept telling me not to kiss him, I can't help it if he is oh so kissable.  LOL. <--------- I tend to be a worry wort, it runs in my mother's family, I remember my Grandma was always worrying about the little things, if we fell and scraped our knees she would be so worried.  I like this quote as worrying does not change the future it just empties today of it's strength.  I try not to worry but it is part of my anxiety.  Gotta love good ole anxiety.  It seems the older I get the more anxious I become.  I utilize the techniques my counselor has given me, and I am able to minimize my anxiety most of the time, however it is still there.  It is so frustrating, I never remember being an anxious person like thi...

Moving Mountains The faith that can move mountains needs three ingredients to work: belief in yourself, belief in others, and the ability to draw on your inner strength. I really like the above quote.  Moving Mountains can seem like such a daunting task, but you have to have faith in yourself, believe in others and draw on your inner strength.  I know my recovery I have relied a lot on the support of others, and the support that I get from myself as well.   I am grateful that I have chosen to move the mountains in my life and to stay on the path to recovery instead of letting this get out of hand like they were.  I am trying to stay on top of my moods so I can get better and avoid downfalls which there have been ups and downs, I don't want anyone to think that my recovery has just been peachy keen as I have had some ups and some downs. My mountains for the past few days have been shoveling snow.  UGH I live in the wrong state, I hate hate...

Last night I went to see a movie with my sister, Silver Linings Playbook http://silverliningsplaybookmovie.com/   It was a great movie, it is about a Bipolar guy and how he meets a messed up girl and they change each other.  I laughed a lot during this movie.  I liked the fact that they made it 'real' like showed scenes of how a bipolar person can act a little crazy.  It was a great film, I give it 2 thumbs up.  Made me really think about finding the silver linings in things.  We also went out to eat before the movie at Red Lobster, I have never eaten there before, and I was impressed.  It was such good food, and the service was great. Today we had freezing rain, which doesn't happen very often here.  The roads were/are treacherous, it took my hubby over 2 hours to get to work (normally about 30-35 minutes) and he slid off and hit a curb and bent a rim (not good).  I'm grateful that he made it there safely though.  There were several...

Today I had court for the ticket I got for not having my car registered.  Holy cow it's a misdeameanor to do that...I did not know that and now have learned a valuable lesson, don't let your car get past due on the registration.  The judge was super nice, I was the only one that referred to him by "Your Honor" everyone else was like "Sir". I learned that from the clerk at the last ticket I got, that the judge is nicer if you respect him by dressing up and referring to him as Your Honor.  He reduced my fine since I brought proof that I had it taken care of from $40 to $30.  I thought that was nice of him as well as giving me until Friday (waiting till Rob gets paid on Thursday) to pay it.  This court experience was a whole lot different, last time I was an emotional mess, before, during and after.  I love how my pills make me calm and collected.  Was I nervous, you bet, but I didn't cry this time, and didn't have panic attack freak outs, so that was...

How true this is.   Yes I am on medications for my Bipolar, but I also have chosen to have a positive attitude, to not let it get me down, and to keep on trucking.  It has been hard, but I made the choice while I was laying in the hospital bed in August, that I wanted help, I wanted to change and I wanted to be better.  If I didn't have a positive attitude I don't think I would be anywhere near where I am in my recovery. So in today's session with my counselor we talked about exercise, I committed to exercising 1 mile 3x a week for 2 weeks, we shall see how that goes.  I was also challenged to have a 'gratitude' journal, to write down 3 things that I am grateful for each day, and it has to be different each day.  We shall see how that goes, what a challenge.  I am excited to see what I can come up with. Things I am grateful for today: 1-  My supportive husband 2-  Having a roof over our heads 3-  My animals. Tomorrow I have to go t...