Shades of Sunshine

So one of the lovely side effects of being pregnant is major acne breakouts.....UGH!  So I did a lot of research and have started a new facial routine.  I have noticed a huge difference in my face so far, I've been doing this for about 2 weeks now.  I had really dry peeling skin on my forehead and nose and it's gone now.  I found all of these recipes on Pinterest/Google AM (Done in the following order) 1- Honey/Baking Soda Scrub 2-  ACV Toner/Astringent, let air dry for a minute or two 3- Acne Spot Treatment/Metronidazole Cream on trouble spots 4-  Grapeseed Oil Moisturizer PM: 1-  Oil/Witch Hazel Makeup remover 2-  Honey/Baking Soda Scrub 3-  ACV Toner/Astringent let air dry for a minute or two 4-  Acne Spot Treatment/Metronidazole Cream on Trouble Spots 5-  Oil of Olay Wrinkle Cream (I can't use oils at night because I wear a CPAP mask Recipes: 1-  Honey/Baking Soda Scrub 1 teaspoonish Hone...

Zoey I haven't posted recently.   Things have been busy and I am now 13 weeks 6 days pregnant...... Due July 5th.   To say we are excited is an understatement.   We are over the moon with excitement.  This is our first child.   I am a bit nervous as child birth literally scares the crap out of me.   But all will be fine I am sure.   I have had quite the bouts with morning sickness but mostly nauseated.   I have yet thrown up.... Knocking on serious wood here.  I think since the last time I wrote list a key.   My boy Munchie.   He had a bad heart and severe arthritis in most of not all of his joints.   We  decided it was more humane to end his suffering.   We added a new kitten named Smokes.   He is a kitten that I bottle raised from just a few days old.   He is the first foster I have had that Raven approves of.   Usually she hisses ...

Well we did it, went in for my scan on Saturday and I had 5 really good follicles on my ovaries: 26, 23, 21,17, 16 and a few under 10.  They like them to be 18 for triggering, well the most dominant one.  So I had a really really good response to the Clomid.  Which is good to know for the future.  So we went and picked up the trigger shot (makes you ovulate) and Rob gave it to me Saturday night right before bed.  We had IUI (Intra-uterine insemination) yesterday morning.  To say these were the worst Ovulation cramps I have ever felt is an understatement.  All day sunday and yesterday, even hurt my tummy to laugh.  But it will be worth it if we get a sticky bean.  It's going to be a very long 2 weeks (how long to wait until pregnancy test).  The trigger shot is HCG which also shows positive on a pregnancy test so a lot of women start testing early so they can test it out so when they get a BFP (Big Fat Positive) they know it's for real....

As everything falls into place for us to finally get pregnant (hopefully, fingers crossed), I have so many mixed emotions.  A baby is going to change the dynamics of my hubby and I's relationship.  Things will be different.  We have a good thing going (finally now that I am on medications for my Bipolar/Anxiety) and I don't want to ruin that.  But I finally feel like it is 'our' time to get pregnant and the time is right to have children.  I know Rob (my husband) is going to make one incredible dad, I have seen him with babies before and I have seen how he is with our various fur children.  He's going to be great.  Although still trying to get him to budge on the fact that he thinks because he helped with nieces and nephews he won't get stuck with diaper duty.....yeah don't think that is going to fly buddy.  I know that being a mom is going to be difficult, especially with my Bipolar/Anxiety/Depression, but I feel like I've finally found the combi...

Is he not the cutest little kitten you have ever seen?  Holy Smokes aka Little Buddy is 4 weeks old now.  He purrs non stop and is just the sweetest, most adorable baby in the universe.  I love fostering kittens......except I am getting super attached to this little guy.  It's hard not to.  He also does face nuzzles (rubs his face on your chin/face) like our cat Raven does.  It's just so sweet. So I had my cycle day 3 ultrasound on Thursday and boy was I shocked with the results.  Everything was normal, no cysts even on my ovaries (I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovaries back in 2002), but you can have the PCOS without having cysts on your ovaries and I have a lot of other symptoms.  So it wasn't the 1st Dr that I saw it was a different one as my Dr wasn't in.  She started me on Clomid to help me release more eggs when I ovulate.  Scheduled a follow up ultrasound on Day 12 which is next saturday to see how I responded to the Clomid. ...

This quote hit me hard today.  Things have been rocky lately, and 'windy' if you will, but it's up to me to change the direction of my life, it's up to me to choose to be happy and to pull out of this depression I have been in.  I can adjust the sails and make different choices to have a different destination. Met with my therapist today.  We talked about my depression.  He told me what an inspiration I was as far as how far I have come since I started seeing him in January (I think that's when I started) as well as my weight loss.  He said I should find a sponsor or an app to give me money for losing so much weight :)  We talked about how my sense of being overwhelmed is from taking on too much responsibility, that I need help.  I tend to just do things instead of waiting for help or asking for help.  I have lists and lists of things that need to be done and I tend to do them myself instead of getting help, this goes mainly for things around ...

<<<<<<<<<<< Love this and am going to take this approach....brutal honesty :)  So this morning I weighed in at 148.0#.  Which is far from my lowest weight in this journey and I gained 5# this weekend.   I have a harder time on the weekends.   I don't know if it's boredom or what but something has to change.   My hubby and I were talking last night and he was telling me how he does better diet wise when I am sticking on plan better.   That's all the motivation I needed to hear.   My hubby has a lot of weight to lose and has  been losing slowly.   His doctor wants him to go on insulin but he doesn't want to.   He had been bringing his A1C levels down some.   He is diabetic.   So back on plan for me.   I went to a gas station this morning and got caffeine free (diet coke addiction I am trying to break)  diet coke and those darn donuts a...