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Depression much?

Hello there, I met with my counselor today, we went over my 'letter' (she had me write a letter to someone explaining their effects on me, not going to give the letter to the person though).  Any how then we were talking about how I'm doing.  I told her that I have been depressed about the car accident, even though it wasn't my fault I still felt guilt and shame for it because we had to scrimp and not pay bills so we could get me a cheapie car (we paid $850 for it).  It really made things hard on us this month.  Then I feel depressed about my job, I am not even making minimum wage (on commission), so that's making things difficult to pay bills etc.  My counselor said it wasn't depression just life's events.  I don't agree with that I have had suicide ideations and been mega down in the dumps.  I think that qualifies as depression.  I told her that I thought I needed an increase in my anti-depressant or a different one.  Again she disagreed stating that anyone would feel depression over those events.  Going to talk to my psychiatrist next week about it as I don't think this is normal feelings.

So I have been somewhat productive the past few days, I have forced myself to be, yesterday I caught up almost all the dishes, and swept part of the living room, and put away the laundry.  Today I deep cleaned the stove, used a razor blade to get the burnt crap off it.  Then finished cleaning off the counters, and cleaned my dog's crate.  It feels good to be productive but it has been a struggle to do so but again it feels good to accomplish stuff instead of letting it go.  I am going to try to get on some sort of 'regime' to clean and keep clean the house.  I believe I touched on the fact that the house is my responsibility since I am home by 1-2pm most days.  I let my depression get in the way and just usually sit on my computer until my hubby comes home after 7pm.  I am really going to try and build a routine of things I do daily to keep the house clean.  Enough is enough and I've had it living in a cluttered pigsty of a mess.
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