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Somethings got to change.

I am in a depressed state at the moment.  I feel good but at the same time have this cloud of depression hanging over my head.  I am in a funk, I don't clean the house even though it is my 'job' now before you say anything about my husband should help, the hours of my job are basically part time, I'm home a good majority of the time therefore it's my responsibility to keep the dishes done, the house clean etc.  If my husband didn't work full time hours we would share the responsibility of the house.

However, lately I just can't do it, I can't keep a clean house.  I wish I could but it's just beyond me at the moment.  Maybe my meds need tweaked a little bit or maybe I'm not on the right meds for my disease.  I spend my days off either watching tv, sleeping in or goofing on the computer, as well as the time I am home, some days I am home from work by 1pm.....my hubby gets home about 7:30 now, so that is plenty of time for me to clean up the house.  I have decided I am going to change, I am going to force myself to get this house clean, finish unpacking and start some sort of routine so I can keep it up.  I've tried FlyLady methods before but I always quit before it becomes a routine, maybe I need to just stick with it and keep things going so I can have a clean house.  It's time for me to change, time for me to be a better person.  I am using my disease as an excuse, and it's time for me to stop.  Time for me to put my big girl panties on and deal with it.  Enough is enough and I am determined to change.

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