I just wanted to follow up with how changing your thoughts can change your world. If you have a positive attitude you can accomplish anything. Case in point, yesterday was my day off, and I made the decision that I was going to crisis clean (15 minutes in 3 rooms then 15 min break) for as long as I could, and I basically did from 8am to 4pm, it feels great that I got so much accomplished. I could have just done my 'norm' ad said "It's too overwhelming, it's too hard" but instead I just went for it. I accomplished a lot got some dishes done, some laundry done, cleaned up some more in the kitchen, fully cleaned my main level bathroom, took out the garbage (which again was huge as I have anxiety about my neighbors seeing me with so much garbage), and worked on my living room.
I'm reminded constantly of someone who was in the hospital at the same time as I was, we both suffered from depression and suicide attempts, however she chose to think bad thought and chose to not get the help that she so desperately needed, she would show up but just putting in the time as she had made the decision she wasn't going to live past October. We both had self esteem issues, we just chose to go down different paths. I often wonder where she's at now. I know that everyone was so thrilled with my progress when I was in the hospitalization program....but again I made the conscious decision I WANTED TO LIVE!
Things are so much better now. I take my pills every day, haven't missed a dose other than surgery morning. Today was an awesome day, I was in a fabulous mood all day long, and super happy. When I got home from work I sorted through MT Washmore and filled 3 garbage bags full of stuff to get rid of......still have a huge Mt Washmore, but we'll get there.
I'm reminded constantly of someone who was in the hospital at the same time as I was, we both suffered from depression and suicide attempts, however she chose to think bad thought and chose to not get the help that she so desperately needed, she would show up but just putting in the time as she had made the decision she wasn't going to live past October. We both had self esteem issues, we just chose to go down different paths. I often wonder where she's at now. I know that everyone was so thrilled with my progress when I was in the hospitalization program....but again I made the conscious decision I WANTED TO LIVE!
Things are so much better now. I take my pills every day, haven't missed a dose other than surgery morning. Today was an awesome day, I was in a fabulous mood all day long, and super happy. When I got home from work I sorted through MT Washmore and filled 3 garbage bags full of stuff to get rid of......still have a huge Mt Washmore, but we'll get there.
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