I am not what happened to me

I know I refer back to my partial hospitalization a lot, but that experience taught me so much. It taught me to hope for a better future. Taught me coping skills, taught me how to take things with a grain of salt. It taught me (from listening to others) that I may have been through hell, but there are others out there just like me who have been through what I've been through or are going through it now. I made the conscious decision to change my life. I was scared pretty bad to go to partial hospitalization, thought they would want to keep me and lock the door and throw away the key. It was so out of my 'realm'. I am such an extremely shy person so having to spend the day with complete strangers was a bit out of my comfort zone....But what I learned from them has been invaluable. I even managed to learn from a negative nancy who had already made the decision she wasn't going to live past October, that regardless of how bad things are, some people are worse off than I was. I learned that I could take things one bite at a time instead of trying to eat an elephant all in one sitting (Elephant being my housework).

I am so thankful for the support I have received from my husband, and my family, they have been behind me 100% of the way....well pretty much all of them have been, I do have a brother who is sort of estranged from the family due to his wife and him being stuck in a skewed reality....well maybe not his wife but he certainly hasn't a grip on reality at the moment. That's all I will say about that. My sister Jen has not missed a day in calling me to see how I am doing and I am so incredibly grateful for that. My husband has stuck by me, I am glad to say our relationship is blossoming now and things are really getting better between us finally. I LOVE it, because I LOVE him with every bit of my heart, soul, mind and body. He is the most amazing man I have ever known.....okay maybe one of the most amazing, as I think my dad is pretty awesome sauce too :-)

Today I CHOOSE to be happy, I CHOOSE Life, I CHOOSE Change, I CHOOSE love...YOU are in charge of your own happiness, what do you choose to be?

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Shades of Sunshine

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