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Feeling Good

This is the book that the hospital "social worker' recommended to me, and I love it!  Buy it online as it was $26 at Barnes & Noble.  It totally has awesome ideas on how to change your way of thinking which is totally cool.  I have so much to cover today, so there might be 2 or 3 posts today :-)  I had an awesome day at therapy.  The Abilify continues to make my stomach upset, and I worshipped the porcelain gods twice today during therapy :-(  Which SUCKS because they have to 'buzz' the day people out to use the bathroom.  Right now they are a little disorganized which sucks....and I BARELY made it the 2nd time....but that's okay.  I was able to talk to the Dr today, it was a different one than the one I saw last week, she was more 'interested' in the right drug for the symptoms, not just a 'bipolar' drug.  So we talked for a while, and I cried (wearing my emotions on my sleeve today), and she determined that I needed the "big guns" so to speak so is putting me on Zyprexa which she warned me was expensive; however in checking with my insurance, for a 3 month supply, I will only pay $25, they will cover $300 of it!  Woot Woot!  Then she put me on Mirapex for restless leg syndrome and it is $600 for a 3 month supply, OUCH!, my insurance covers 96% of it, so I only have to pay $25.00....what a HUGE relief and a HUGE blessing.....I was so worried.  She said she will give me enough to last for a week or two until I can get in to see the Psychiatrist, I go next tuesday to see him.   My insurance company called today with the name of a Therapist I can go see as well.....they are amazing!  I am truly blessed to have a husband who has such an amazing job who cares about their people. 

Today was such a huge day for me in therapy, and I enjoyed every minute of it, okay maybe NOT every minute but most of it.  I think they all must think I'm a weirdo as I take copious notes during group sessions.  During 'recovery' group we listened to a talk by a guy named Jasepe in AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) and I gleamed so much information from him it was amazing......

Never changed your dirty rotten thinking so you didn't change your dirty rotten living.....
Wow!  Power statement and a half!  I am such a negative thinker I don't think positive very often, so unless I change the way I think my way of living, attitude etc will never change.

Gods Never Late, I'm just never on time
So true!  I am such an impatient person, I can't wait for anything and I'm sure I drive my hubby spare with this.  I love this, I may be early or late, but things are on God's time table.

Take it one day at a time 
Notice a pattern, this is repeated A LOT during therapy, and I tend to look too far ahead which causes me stress and anxiety.

If you stop pedaling on a bike you lose your balance, and may fall over
If I stop the road to recovery, I will lose my balance and go back to the habits that got me in this mess (negative thinking, laziness, not taking medicine like I'm supposed to etc.

Too many years, not enough days
Goes hand in hand with the above statement, we need to take it one day at a time and live for the present.

There is nobody better than me, and I am not better than anyone we are all God's Children, and I can't do it alone.
I served an LDS mission and my husband constantly has to remind me when things get hard, I need to kneel and pray to my Father in Heaven......what a good example he is to me.  I can't get through this alone.  I just can't.

God picked me to break the chain
As for me, my family has a cycle of bipolar running through it, it is up to me to break that chain and I need to break the chain of negativity that runs through my life. Only I can make the decision to change for the better. 

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