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Eliminating the toxins

Just like You wouldn't drink toilet bowl cleaner as it's toxic, you shouldn't allow 'toxic' people or places into your lives to destroy your thoughts.  I had a previous co-worker contact me yesterday, and I got in a bad place (vengeance, he deserves this or that, he needs to go down, I hate etc) and it took Rob bringing me out a container of toilet bowl cleaner and telling me to drink it, to open my eyes and realize how toxic this girl is.  She got one of my friends fired from the vet, as well as she set up someone by leading them on etc.....any how, I was texting her back and forth last night, but Rob made me realize that she was making me not be the person I am.  She has that effect on people.  So I made a pro-active step and blocked her number out of my phone.  Her problems are her problems, she made her bed the way she wanted it, she has to deal with it and lie in it.  All the bad feelings she brought back up to the surface are definitely something I need to work through and eliminate out of my life.

 I see my psychiatrist today for the first time in probably 5 or 6 years at least......she is going to handle the 'medications' and my counselor is handling my 'talking it out'.  I have learned how to get it all out there so that's a good thing, in the past I kept things hidden from her....then wonder why she didn't help me like she should have....that's like my dad going into surgery on a patient (he's a Veterinarian) without knowing where he was looking.

Post Psychiatrist visit:  Not so sure I like her....she told me I don't have the classical signs of Bipolar.  Hmmmm here are my symptoms that I have had during Bipolar

Manic phase of bipolar disorder
Signs and symptoms of the manic or hypomanic phase of bipolar disorder can include:
  • Euphoria, Poor judgment, Rapid speech, Racing thought, Aggressive behavior, Agitation or irritation, Risky behavior, Spending sprees or unwise financial choices, Increased drive to perform or achieve goals, Increased sex drive, Decreased need for sleep, Easily distracted
Depressive phase of bipolar disorder
Signs and symptoms of the depressive phase of bipolar disorder can include:
  • Sadness, Hopelessness, Suicidal thoughts or behavior, Anxiety, Guilt, Sleep problems, Low appetite or increased appetite, Fatigue, Loss of interest in activities once considered enjoyable, Problems concentrating, Irritability,Chronic pain without a known cause
So me thinks that I have Bipolar disorder.....I am rapid cycling as I do bounce back and forth quite a bit, just ask Rob.  So I am probably going to search out another Psychiatrist.  She just doesn't feel right to me.  Also she told me that she is increasing one drug, just to increase it essentially as I'm not on the normal 'bipolar' mood stabilizing dose....hmmm am I showing signs to where it needs to be increased?  Not really I feel like I am doing pretty darn good all things considered.   So I will be on the hunt for a new psychiatrist.
A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug. Nothing is unrealistic if you want it bad enough"
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