Grateful thoughts

<------- So true!  I hated my life about a month ago.  The whole experience was a huge wake-up call to me about the importance of taking my supplements and medication.  I can't believe I let myself go for so long without.  I am grateful for the experience as it has been a huge life lesson for me.  I went and picked up my Neuroreplete ($80 a month) supplement today as I emptied a bottle!  Which feels awesome!  I decided a month ago that I wanted to change, I wanted to feel better and get out of the huge slump I was in.  So glad I made the right decision.  So was getting my supplements and medication costs for both Rob and I ready for my attorney (for Ch 13 Bankruptcy for me) and holy cow!  Depressing.....$500 in meds and supplements for the both of us.  GRATEFUL for awesome insurance as some of my meds would be $600 a month without.  Incredibly grateful for my husbands job, that provides incredible benefits.  I got my 'hospital' bill today......they tested me for drugs, tylenol, aspirin, alcohol a pregnancy test and everything insurance covered $1623 of that visit.....my cost was $100 copay.  Again incredibly grateful and happy that we have awesome insurance.  My partial hospitalization would have been $1500 without insurance.  I know that God provides for us.  He helped Rob get this job, and he helped the insurance company lead me to the right people to get help.  Again so grateful.  Can you tell I am incredibly grateful today?

On a happy note....it's my time of the month and usually I am an emotional mess, crying, PMS'y and the works, Rob hates it cause I get so Bitchy.......well so far so good, I am stable, not a crying mess, and seem to be doing just fine.

I wanted to expand on the whole Toilet Bowl Cleaner issue from the other day, as I made it seem like Rob wanted me to drink poison.....he he.....that's not at all what happened.  Here's the rest of the story.  Rob brought toilet bowl cleaner in & asked do me a favor and drink this, and I said why, he said why not, I said because it's poison he said exactly it's poison to your body, she's poison to your mind and soul.  That is for the 'toxic' person that I eliminated from my life as she was a poison, she was making me want vengeance and revenge on my former employer, when that is not at all how I normally am, I am generally forgiving etc.

My hope today is that my brother, Jonathan, will get the same level of help that I have gotten so he can function as a normal adult, and see the toxic people in his own life.  I pray for him daily.  He too is severely bipolar and I honestly think he's living in an alternate reality at the moment as the things he has done to my family ARE NOT his normal self, when he is on medication and in therapy he is such a helpful person and he cares for his family and wants to help where he can, and generally a good guy.  But he is in a relationship with a very controlling person, whom I will venture to say has literally ruined his life by some of the choices he has made since he met her.  It is sad, but hopefully one day he will realize the error of his ways.  I just feel for my parents as they have been so hurt by the things that Jon and his new wife have done.  It put them in a hard spot where they had to do something no parent ever wants to to their children.  Anyhow, sorry for the tangeant just felt compelled to share that today.