Getting Things Done

Isn't that the truth?  I have a messy, dirty house....there I said it.  So oftentimes instead of cleaning I'd rather be doing anything else, like snuggling on the couch with Rob, messing on the computer etc.  It's part of my Bipolarism, and the fact that I take after my mother in that regard, I HATE to clean, always have.  Take for instance today....it's my day off from work, and I do have appointments (got my stitches out of my foot) and I have an appointment with my counselor, so instead of using the time in between appointments here I sit messing on the computer.....gotta kick myself in the A$$ and go get busy.  I'll write more later, gonna be productive for a change.  :-)

One thing that my counselor wants me to do is to keep track of my moods, my ups, my depression and anxiety.  I found a really cool app for my phone/tablet called EMoods, it is awesome, you can put your moods in each day and you can email a generated report that will show you how things are for the month.  http://emoodtracker.com/ is a link to the program so you can check out screen shots etc.  I really like my counselor, she really seems to 'get me' and knows what I need to work on each time I see her.  I was prepared to tell her that I was going to have to cut the visits down to once a month because my insurance company sent me a statement saying that my portion of her visits is $40, and there is no way I can afford that plus the $30 to the psychiatrist each month.  So when I got to therapy today first things out of her mouth was that my insurance company paid her 100% of my visits!  What a relief, I was having some serious anxiety over it.  We talked about a lot of different things today, and we did a relaxation exercise that we are going to end each session with from now on, she said that the next time she's going to add some ego boosting things to it to help my confidence and get me more grounded than I am.

Everything today was a major effort, I even fell asleep on the couch for a few hours today.  I did manage to get a couple loads of laundry actually done (folded, hung up etc) which is major as usually I just leave the clothes in the basket and put the basket in the closet.  I also did a couple loads of dishes in the dishwasher, so while everything was a major effort I at least got some stuff done for a change.  Also exercised, I walked one mile with the Walk At Home DVD's we have, I am too self conscious or whatnot to walk outside right now, I am extremely ashamed of my body and how fat I have become.  I am starting today to make a more conscious effort to lose weight and to exercise regularly.  I want to be back to size 8/10 like I was when I got married.  Right now I am a size 20/22.  So wish me luck :-)