I tend to think that I have to give it all and everything has to be perfect. I am starting to realize that it doesn't have to be perfect, I just have to be better. Such as I was disappointed with how little I got done yesterday on the house.....Rob was completely fine with it and said that he was proud of me for at least getting something done, he said he doesn't expect me to spend 8 hours on the house on my days off. That made me realize that little by little I am making progress, I am doing better. It is just a matter of making myself believe I am doing better.
I did better today at work. I am a dog groomer and I had a dog today who is a bit of a pill, she bites, so her owners give her tranquilizers prior to grooming. Well they just took the edge off she still bit me, and was flipping out, normally when this happens I get upset and the adrenaline gets flowing and I get super anxious, start shaking etc.....well today I didn't get that way, I promptly put the dog away and said she was done, not worth the risk of me cutting the dog while she was thrashing around. I recommended that they have her completely sedated at a vet in the future for her safety and mine.
I have been reading other people who have Mental Health Issues blogs lately and so many of them are so desperate and full of despair, I wish I could just send them some of the peace and clarity that I have felt recently. I have been where they are and am grateful that I choose to live on a daily basis. I can't imagine the pain and suffering I could have potentially caused my husband, and my family had my attempt been successful.....so incredibly grateful that the experience taught me the lesson I needed to learn....take my meds, get help, get counseling.
I did better today at work. I am a dog groomer and I had a dog today who is a bit of a pill, she bites, so her owners give her tranquilizers prior to grooming. Well they just took the edge off she still bit me, and was flipping out, normally when this happens I get upset and the adrenaline gets flowing and I get super anxious, start shaking etc.....well today I didn't get that way, I promptly put the dog away and said she was done, not worth the risk of me cutting the dog while she was thrashing around. I recommended that they have her completely sedated at a vet in the future for her safety and mine.
I have been reading other people who have Mental Health Issues blogs lately and so many of them are so desperate and full of despair, I wish I could just send them some of the peace and clarity that I have felt recently. I have been where they are and am grateful that I choose to live on a daily basis. I can't imagine the pain and suffering I could have potentially caused my husband, and my family had my attempt been successful.....so incredibly grateful that the experience taught me the lesson I needed to learn....take my meds, get help, get counseling.
It makes me happy to see someone out in our 'mental health' blogosphere that is being nice to themselves and proud of their achievements! Good for you!!
ReplyDelete